Today's Challenge:
Write down a major life goal you have yet to achieve or even begin to take action on. For each goal, write down three uncertainties (read: fears) you have relating to each goal. Break it down further, and write down three reasons for each uncertainty. When you have three reasons for your fear, you'll be able to start processing the change because you know where the fear stems from. Now you'll be able to make a smaller changes that push you towards your larger goal. So begins the process of "trusting yourself."
Today's entry:
I guess today's prompt is about multiplication. I'm trying to avoid having a Goal Du Jour, so for the sake of consistency, I'll refer you to Day 15. One of my long-standing goals – that keeps getting dusted off and then rolling back under the bed – is to learn Chinese.
I'm not sure fear is my primary obstacle on this one, but there are definitely some uncertainties in play:
(1) What if I can't do it?
This is the big one – learning any language is difficult, but Chinese and Arabic are supposedly the most difficult for native English speakers. What if I'm just not adept enough at languages to ever quite become proficient? What if I don't have the ear for it, and butcher the language even after years of practice? What if I just fall flat on my face and don't put in the time and effort?
(2) What if it's not useful?
I struggle with this question too often, to the point of decision paralysis. What if I learn Chinese and then never put that skill to use? Admittedly, that's a bit unlikely, since I have many Chinese-American friends and my mother-in-law speaks Chinese. What if it's not marketable? Kind of dumb, but always in the back of my mind. What if other people think it's a waste of time? Possibly the least of my worries on this one, but it's there, nibbling at the back of my brain.
(3) What else am I missing?
Given the sheer amount of time this is going to take, I'll be putting in a lot of hours that could be spent doing or learning something else. What if I don't learn something more important? What if I finally learn Chinese and regret having spent the time? What if I realize that time was better spent just enjoying my everyday life?
I don't think that any of these fears or reasons are catastrophic – a lot of it is just carving out the time and convincing myself that it's worthwhile. The toughest part about a goal that can take months (or even years) is that there's a lot of time for doubt to creep in.
