Today's Challenge:
The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, then don't let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we're horrible at forecasting how we'll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we've gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, "That's not what I thought it would be," and ask, "What now?" Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, "What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing – They're always there, but you've got to choose to see them.
Today's entry:
When I started this challenge, I made a commitment to make the best of each prompt. Even if I found any given day a bit cliché or repetitive, I'd find an angle that was worth exploring. I'm struggling with this, one, though – not because I think it's a bad question, but because I think I'm actually guilty of the opposite extreme.
I revel in keeping my options open, just in case some unnamed opportunity comes my way. At times in my life, I've been so afraid to miss out on some theoretical adventure that I said "no" to perfectly good, real opportunities right in front of me. If I work on project X, then I worry about the work I'm not doing on projects Y and Z. Of course, the results have always been predictable – none at all.
When I was in my 20s (and a bachelor), I'd get stressed out if I had so much as one social event in a weekend. If, God forbid, I had to do the laundry and grocery shopping in the same day, I could virtually feel the shackles cutting into my flesh.
In my mind, all of these mundane obligations were keeping me from my true calling. Unfortunately, I had absolutely no idea what that was. The sad truth was that, given a weekend of total freedom, I usually squandered it. I didn't even waste my potential by going out and partying – I mostly sat at home feeling sorry for myself.
Freedom is useless if we don't exercise it.
Now, I'm married and a parent, running a successful business from home while the 21 lbs. of pure destruction that is my daughter learns to walk. On any given Saturday, we could have a baby class, hit 3 grocery stores, go out to lunch, stop at the mall, and drive to the burbs for a friend's party. As my wife would no doubt point out, I still let some things get to me (like travel), and I could use a nap now and then, but I've realized that all of this is my choice.
The whole point of freedom was to be able to take advantage of opportunities, so that someday my Saturdays would be filled with doing the things that I wanted to do. Protecting my time at all costs was a false freedom – a way to shield myself from the risks of going after what I wanted.
Freedom isn't about keeping your options open – it's about willfully choosing your own path in life, and choice requires commitment. The real irony is that I have more opportunity than ever before, because opportunity doesn't come while you passively wait for it with the doors, windows, and blinds shut tight. Opportunity comes when you're out in the world making choices and impacting other people's lives and projects.