Today's Challenge:
Who is one person that you've been dying to connect with, but just haven't had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.
Today's entry:
I hate to sound like I'm making excuses, but I honestly can't think of anyone. Connecting has been such a necessity recently that I've gotten a lot less shy about it. If there's a reason to connect, I find a way. If I love somebody's work, I tell them.
Over the last 5 years, I've really learned to appreciate the importance of relevance. I used to think that just meant "What's in it for me?" and I resented that I had to be relevant. Gradually, I realized the much simpler truth of relevance – you can't make a connection with someone without commonality. It's just human nature.
So, I've learned to get to know people. Luckily, I like people, and I'm blessed with living in the information age, so it's not really that hard. You don't have to lie or put on a show to be relevant – pick any person, and you almost always share something in common, if you look hard enough.
I've also learned a difficult paradox – if you want people to be interested in you, you have to be interesting. Sounds simple enough, but the painful part is what that implies. If people aren't interested in you, then you may not be very interesting. That wasn't a very comfortable realization for me.
Of course, it's more likely that you just aren't expressing your interests well or you're hiding those interests out of fear that people might reject them (and you). The end result – no relevance and no connections. At some point, you have to be interested out loud if you want to be interesting.
It also helps to actually be interested in what you do. I'm amazed how often I try to talk to someone new about their work (especially in a non-business setting), and they change the subject, usually because they don't actually like what they do. If your life isn't interesting to you, it's certainly not going to be interesting to anyone else.
So, to sum up:
(1) If you want to connect, be relevant.
(2) If you want to be relevant, be interesting.
(3) If you want to be interesting, be interested.
